Thursday, March 25, 2010

Another X with the B

Last day of work for this week. I am definitely exhausted with all the calls, client inquiries and coordination of booked shipments. I have stayed late in the office for these past few days trying to accomplish what seems to be an endless tasks of documentation and coordination.
Then I received all the comments from the jobs I have handled this week and I was so happy to see the rating of 10 from all three clients. I felt so accomplished that I have served this clients' requirements and they have appreciated my efforts. We told our boss during lunch about the high ratings we have received on the recent jobs we had.
We were expecting that we would receive positive comments then Alas! We heard the most inspiring words from him "That is not a great achievement at all." It was really disappointing to hear such comments. It just seems he did not appreciate the efforts that we have put through with our work. It then hit me, the B is probably a newbee in the management world. Then again, he just probably does not know how to motivate his staff.
I was quite disappointed but hey, it's not really a big deal. What is more important is I had provided our clients the best service I can extend and it was quite fulfilling. Probably someday, the B would recognize our efforts or would figure out how...
Josh / 25-Mar-2010

Friday, March 19, 2010

Francis Kong's Blog Post: DEALING WITH STRESS


Posted: 18 Feb 2010 02:44 PM PST

Are you stressed? Do you know how to deal with stress? Is there someone in the work place you hate so much that person the very source of your stress? So how do you deal with the situation. Someone came up with this idea. Now do not take this seriously. Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called the "world." The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding under the water. There now.......feeling better?

Stress is caused by two opposing forces, which pull against each other. We usually think of this as something negative but actually some stress is essential for living. For instance, gravity is a stress to your body - but you couldn't live without it. You'll never be able to eliminate all stress from your life. You wouldn't want to. But you can reduce the intensity of stress and you can learn to manage it. When a violinist tightens the strings on a violin, she puts stress on them. The strings are pulled in two directions. The capacity of a string to be stretched is called "tensile strength." If the strings are weak they break when stretched. But if the strings are strong, the violinist is able to produce beautiful music because of the stress. People are like that. When pulled in two different directions some people snap from the stress. Others, however, are able to handle the stress and use it to produce something beautiful. The difference is the spiritual strength of the individual.

How do you get recharged spiritually when you're feeling stressed?

1. PAUSE! Step back from your work for a moment. But instead of taking a coffee break, take a spiritual break! Take a deep breath, quiet yourself and focus on the fact that God is with you right now. You're not alone. God is ready to help you.

"God says, "Be quiet and still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10 (NCV)

2. PRAY! Prayer is a powerful stress-reliever that you can use any time of the day. It works best when you pray aloud - but when your situation doesn't allow that you can talk to God with your thoughts. Tell him exactly how you feel. Of course, he already knows. The relief comes from getting it off your chest. God won't be shocked. He made you and he loves you.

"I pour out my problems to him; I tell him my troubles. When I am afraid, you, LORD, know the way out." Psalm 142:2-3 (NCV)

3. PRIORITIZE! Pinpoint what's really most important to do and what isn't. You can't do everything, so clarifying your priorities is essential to reducing stress. Your work will be determined by pressures or by priorities. It's your choice. If you don't determine what's important - others will decide it for you.

"There is a right time and a right way for everything." Ecclesiastes 8:6 (NCV)

Some things will serve and some things will master it depends on what you allow. And then in all things give Thanks. Fight fear with faith knowing that God would not allow you to go through anything you cannot bear. You will know that you are stressed because you begin to look like your picture in your driver's license. Pray and put that smile back on your face.


Related posts:

  1. How to be Stressed in 2010

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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Francis Kong's Blog Post: TANTRUM WORDS


Posted: 17 Mar 2010 03:26 AM PDT

Call me old fashioned but today I want to talk to business people on the topic of marriage. The Ilocana and I have spent more than half of our lives together. We've been through the thick and the thin of life and I don't mean waistlines. Started life as a couple, had dreams and looked at each other's eyes in candlelit bistros when we were both single and skinny.

God has been gracious. Blesses us with 3 children we're proud of, a decent roof over our heads and humble businesses that are growing and debt-free. We've had disagreements but we know what to do. When one is flaring up the other one just keeps quiet. Let the "tropical depression" pass first and then discuss the matter. The kids see this. This is why they know how to handle disagreements agreeably.

Maintaining a good marriage is not walk in the park. This reminds me of a story. A conversation took place between husband and wife: Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: "Nothing." Wife: 'Nothing? You are so sweet. You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.' It is not true that most marriages fail. What is true is that most people in the marriage allow it to fail. And what causes this? "WORDS!" Simple yet so sinister. Looks harmless yet so hurtful. While words carry the power to heal, it also carries the power to harm and the truth is that hurting words seem to outnumber healing words everywhere you go. Words may even go unnoticed and it operates covertly. "I'm sorry but don't love you anymore……." Oh that really hurts and penetrates deep into the recesses of the soul. And the deterioration accelerates at this point. Some people add a lot more chili into the enchilada by saying: "I don't love you anymore and I am not sure I ever did." "I'm leaving you. I need more space." Sounds like the words come straight out of a soap opera series but this scene does happen. Now what do you do? Get a lawyer, go to a counselor? Pack up your things and go to your mother?

Consider this scene in your mind. You're in a mall. Your child wants something and you are not willing to buy him. He goes into a tantrum. He shouts, he screams and for those who are undisciplined even tried to hit his mother. Does the mother hit him back? Does the mother puts him up for adoption? Does the mother sue her son? No. She ducks; she does nothing because she wants to make sure that she will not "reward" the tantrum and the behavior. The one principle she understands is that she will not be taking the tantrum personally because it's not about her.

There are many men out there who would not admit it but they are actually in some kind of tantrum experiences. They look at the mirror and are shocked to see the lines and wrinkles on his face. The gray hair comes, some hair disappear. The energy level is no longer high and the younger, tech savvy arrogant kids are threatening to take over his job. His career has reached a plateau. His personal trajectory is no longer arcing upward and it's more like a flat line on a heart monitor. This gets to even the best of them. "I don't love you anymore. I'm not sure I ever did." "I want more space." Sometimes these are not serious words. These are merely tantrum words. So how should you respond? Cry? Weep? Go into a tantrum yourself and recite a litany of the sacrifices you've made through the years? But these would have been predictable. Maybe what you need to do is to make sure you are calm, controlled and composed and say: "I don't believe you." This is wise and deep. Because whether he means it or not you may not be able to change his mind. What you can do is to control your responses. "You're no longer the same woman I used to know." Wow! That may pack a mean punch. But what you need to decide is, "Is this relationship big enough and important enough to fight for?" Maybe this next line would carry the weight of a potential counter punch. "I don't know how and what you feel at the moment but it will not be powerful enough to stop me from continuing to love you and support you." And then you give him space. Give him time to figure things out. There are many men out there who are having mid-life tantrums. These advices may not work all the time but you are still responsible for living your life well and doing your best to care for your family. But the one thing I know works best. Pray. Pray that God would use this opportunity to bring the two of you to a personal relationship with Christ in a more intimate way. Do not let tantrum words destroy what God has put together. Erma Bombeck says: "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."

Don't just assume your marriage will work. Work on your marriage every day. You don't just grow your business, you grow in your marriage relationship as well.


Related posts:

  1. Cagayan de Oro and Bukidnon
  2. The Poison Plot

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Something to think about....

Death is something that really interests me. In the book Tuesdays with Morrie, one of Morrie's aphorisms is When you die, you live. You only appreciate life once you learn and accept your own mortality.

There is more to death than physical death. There was a point in my life that I have experienced dying - Emotional and spiritual death. I have always believed that everything that happens in life has a purpose. But what would be the point in living if there is no reason to live for.

You would come to a point in your life that you ask what if there is no such thing as purpose... how will you live your life then. Nothing to look forward to since there is nothing on the other side of the road.

Vast emptiness.. that is what I have felt before. Emptiness. Nothing, there is just nothing to look forward to. I have died during those months, emotionally. I felt no emotions, just numbness. And once you have died emotionally, you just become cold, void of emotions.

I did not actually care if I was hurting other people, 'cause I just did not feel anything. I chose not to process any emotions, I just died then. My first manager told me then that she has not seen me as cold and numb when dealing with the situation I was experiencing then. She was actually worried about me. But I just did not care anymore.

Then I asked myself would I choose to avoid getting hurt but living like a vampire, cold hearted, no emotions. Or choose to be hurt but learn and live life enjoying each kind of emotion, happiness, sadness, joy and sorrow, like Morrie has pointed out in his book.

I guess I chose to live. I spared myself living life void of emotions. Living life full of regrets. I made stupid choices but who doesn't. Life is to be lived by making decisions anyway. But you should live with those choices, right?

So for two months in UAE, I'm wondering why am I here? It has been a struggle for me. Getting really exhausted, dealing with pressure and a high maintenance colleague, having a humbling experience and other things. And this experience made me realize that I need to deal yet with certain emotions... fear and courage. Learning about these feelings a bit deeper now.

I will survive in this country, in this company like those who have struggled and conquered their fears and courageously rose from the pits of failures and disappointments.

I will survive and continue living.....


Friday, March 12, 2010

Another Week

Another week in Abu Dhabi. Exhausting week and too much pressure. But I'd rather have so many thing to do than bore myself to death here. Few friends now but I am working on meeting new people here......
Looking forward on another week....

Monday, March 8, 2010

Just thinking....

March 08, 2010
Today I woke up and talked to myself in front of the bathroom mirror. I told myself "Today will be a great day." Indeed my morning started out very busy but I know that I am able to carry out all my to do list and accomplish all that needs to be completed.
Lunch came and I was struggling through the files on my desk. I wanted to finish all the pendings that I have and to tell all those who are belittling our efforts that yeah we are superwomen. I did not even had lunch today just to get things done as fast as I can.
Afternoon came, more to do's to be accomplished. Still a long way to go through my pending and urgent tasks.
Evening came and I am still in the office, wondering if it this is all worth it. While I was looking over the beautiful mess of papers on my desk, the picasso looking piles of files on my table, I wondered and asked myself, "Is this all worth?"
The answer NO and YES! No, because no matter how much money you earn overseas, it can never compensate for your family and your friend's love, warmth and comfort. But if you want your skills to be challenged and to know your limits, this is the place where you want to be.
Now, I just realized that this company who I am working for right now is bringing out the best in me. I might have some shortfalls and I might whine, cry and complain a bit. But one thing will be certain, I will not give up and will continue to strive until they see that I'M ALL WORTH IT!