Tuesday, August 19, 2008

My Inspiration....

There are moments when I want to give up.... to let myself fade away from darkness.... not to push myself to become the best of what I can be. There are times that I feel my world is falling apart.. but God always gives me light through the words of Max Ehrman....... hope you'll be inspired as well... please read on..

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.


As far as possible, without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.


Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.


If you compare yourself with others; you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.


Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.


Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many person strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.


Be yourself.


Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.


Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.


Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have the right to be here.


And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.


And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.  


With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world.


Be cheerful.


Strive to be happy...



Max Ehrmann


Saturday, August 16, 2008

Confused mind

I see myself
Running in circles
Without an end
In this confusion.
Now I can see
This person inside of me
Running away from reality
Running away from the truth
that may set me free.
I'm so tired of dreaming
Chasing fantasies
That can never be real
I'ms so tired of running away
From myself.
Joshapd / 99

Emotional Cycle

Rivers flow
Winds blow
Sun shines
Rain falls
Blue skies
White clouds
Stars sparkle
    In the dark midnight sky.
Heart bleeds
Faith grows
Love lost
Hope rose
Scars last
Forgiveness begins
Wisdom blossoms
    Life is beautiful again.
Joshapd / 03

Painful Memories

Thank you for hurting me....
For making my life a living hell,
For making me feel miserable,
For not being there when I needed to be comforted,
For not supporting me during my lowest point in life,
For not understanding me when I needed to be understood,
For lying to me when I needed your honesty,
For disregarding me when I needed to feel worthy,
For not loving me when I needed to be loved,
For not being a friend when I needed a friend the most.
Because during those times you were not there,
Those days when you left me alone and hurting,
Those dark and sleepless nights I had to go through.
For enduring all those painful moments....
It was the time I found strength in me,
The time I realized I'm strong,
The time I knew myself better,
The time I found God.
Joshapd 12/26/2002

Thursday, August 14, 2008


Life, at times, cease to exist..
Beyond what is expected,
Lies a betrayed heart
And a lonely soul.
In the calmness of my mind,
I seek to find true happiness
I yearn to love and be loved.
My heart seeks for belongingness
For passion,
For acceptance.
At times, life cease to exist
I let my soul drift into nothing
In an endless pursuit of love
I find myself wandering in darkness
Feeling alone and hopeless
Life cease to exist.
Out of desperation
I tried to suck out
Every bit of life in me
Suddenly, there was calmness
The silent echoes of despair faded away,
Life persists.
Apd 01/04

Wishful Thinking

My thoughts wander while I was waiting for your call,
I have not heard from you since the last time we spend time together.
I kept asking myself why .... what happened?
Have I wronged you in any way?
I cannot understand why you have not called,
I felt we had a connection then,
I thought you felt the same way as I did,
That you felt something special about us.
From the moment I first saw you,
I knew that you are special.
I began engraving your name in my heart,
And I have imprinted your face in my mind.
I believe things happen for a reason,
Meeting you was a part of my destiny.
I do not know where this feeling would lead me ... us
One thing I do understand that you have opened
Another chapter in my book of life .....
I hope that this chapter would have a happy ending,
But it is wishful thinking, I guess.
I feared that things would come to this;
You have began a new chapter in my life,
And now you are ending it so suddenly.
I could only wish our ending would be different,
That I could still inscribe memories of us in my heart.
I only hope that someday,
When you look back in your life,
You would remember this person
Who felt something special about you.....