Thursday, March 25, 2010

Another X with the B

Last day of work for this week. I am definitely exhausted with all the calls, client inquiries and coordination of booked shipments. I have stayed late in the office for these past few days trying to accomplish what seems to be an endless tasks of documentation and coordination.
Then I received all the comments from the jobs I have handled this week and I was so happy to see the rating of 10 from all three clients. I felt so accomplished that I have served this clients' requirements and they have appreciated my efforts. We told our boss during lunch about the high ratings we have received on the recent jobs we had.
We were expecting that we would receive positive comments then Alas! We heard the most inspiring words from him "That is not a great achievement at all." It was really disappointing to hear such comments. It just seems he did not appreciate the efforts that we have put through with our work. It then hit me, the B is probably a newbee in the management world. Then again, he just probably does not know how to motivate his staff.
I was quite disappointed but hey, it's not really a big deal. What is more important is I had provided our clients the best service I can extend and it was quite fulfilling. Probably someday, the B would recognize our efforts or would figure out how...
Josh / 25-Mar-2010

Friday, March 19, 2010

Francis Kong's Blog Post: DEALING WITH STRESS





DEALING WITH STRESS

Posted: 18 Feb 2010 02:44 PM PST


Are you stressed? Do you know how to deal with stress? Is there someone in the work place you hate so much that person the very source of your stress? So how do you deal with the situation. Someone came up with this idea. Now do not take this seriously. Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called the "world." The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding under the water. There now.......feeling better?

Stress is caused by two opposing forces, which pull against each other. We usually think of this as something negative but actually some stress is essential for living. For instance, gravity is a stress to your body - but you couldn't live without it. You'll never be able to eliminate all stress from your life. You wouldn't want to. But you can reduce the intensity of stress and you can learn to manage it. When a violinist tightens the strings on a violin, she puts stress on them. The strings are pulled in two directions. The capacity of a string to be stretched is called "tensile strength." If the strings are weak they break when stretched. But if the strings are strong, the violinist is able to produce beautiful music because of the stress. People are like that. When pulled in two different directions some people snap from the stress. Others, however, are able to handle the stress and use it to produce something beautiful. The difference is the spiritual strength of the individual.

How do you get recharged spiritually when you're feeling stressed?

1. PAUSE! Step back from your work for a moment. But instead of taking a coffee break, take a spiritual break! Take a deep breath, quiet yourself and focus on the fact that God is with you right now. You're not alone. God is ready to help you.

"God says, "Be quiet and still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10 (NCV)

2. PRAY! Prayer is a powerful stress-reliever that you can use any time of the day. It works best when you pray aloud - but when your situation doesn't allow that you can talk to God with your thoughts. Tell him exactly how you feel. Of course, he already knows. The relief comes from getting it off your chest. God won't be shocked. He made you and he loves you.

"I pour out my problems to him; I tell him my troubles. When I am afraid, you, LORD, know the way out." Psalm 142:2-3 (NCV)

3. PRIORITIZE! Pinpoint what's really most important to do and what isn't. You can't do everything, so clarifying your priorities is essential to reducing stress. Your work will be determined by pressures or by priorities. It's your choice. If you don't determine what's important - others will decide it for you.

"There is a right time and a right way for everything." Ecclesiastes 8:6 (NCV)

Some things will serve and some things will master it depends on what you allow. And then in all things give Thanks. Fight fear with faith knowing that God would not allow you to go through anything you cannot bear. You will know that you are stressed because you begin to look like your picture in your driver's license. Pray and put that smile back on your face.

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  1. How to be Stressed in 2010

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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Francis Kong's Blog Post: TANTRUM WORDS


TANTRUM WORDS

Posted: 17 Mar 2010 03:26 AM PDT

Call me old fashioned but today I want to talk to business people on the topic of marriage. The Ilocana and I have spent more than half of our lives together. We've been through the thick and the thin of life and I don't mean waistlines. Started life as a couple, had dreams and looked at each other's eyes in candlelit bistros when we were both single and skinny.

God has been gracious. Blesses us with 3 children we're proud of, a decent roof over our heads and humble businesses that are growing and debt-free. We've had disagreements but we know what to do. When one is flaring up the other one just keeps quiet. Let the "tropical depression" pass first and then discuss the matter. The kids see this. This is why they know how to handle disagreements agreeably.

Maintaining a good marriage is not walk in the park. This reminds me of a story. A conversation took place between husband and wife: Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: "Nothing." Wife: 'Nothing? You are so sweet. You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.' It is not true that most marriages fail. What is true is that most people in the marriage allow it to fail. And what causes this? "WORDS!" Simple yet so sinister. Looks harmless yet so hurtful. While words carry the power to heal, it also carries the power to harm and the truth is that hurting words seem to outnumber healing words everywhere you go. Words may even go unnoticed and it operates covertly. "I'm sorry but don't love you anymore……." Oh that really hurts and penetrates deep into the recesses of the soul. And the deterioration accelerates at this point. Some people add a lot more chili into the enchilada by saying: "I don't love you anymore and I am not sure I ever did." "I'm leaving you. I need more space." Sounds like the words come straight out of a soap opera series but this scene does happen. Now what do you do? Get a lawyer, go to a counselor? Pack up your things and go to your mother?

Consider this scene in your mind. You're in a mall. Your child wants something and you are not willing to buy him. He goes into a tantrum. He shouts, he screams and for those who are undisciplined even tried to hit his mother. Does the mother hit him back? Does the mother puts him up for adoption? Does the mother sue her son? No. She ducks; she does nothing because she wants to make sure that she will not "reward" the tantrum and the behavior. The one principle she understands is that she will not be taking the tantrum personally because it's not about her.

There are many men out there who would not admit it but they are actually in some kind of tantrum experiences. They look at the mirror and are shocked to see the lines and wrinkles on his face. The gray hair comes, some hair disappear. The energy level is no longer high and the younger, tech savvy arrogant kids are threatening to take over his job. His career has reached a plateau. His personal trajectory is no longer arcing upward and it's more like a flat line on a heart monitor. This gets to even the best of them. "I don't love you anymore. I'm not sure I ever did." "I want more space." Sometimes these are not serious words. These are merely tantrum words. So how should you respond? Cry? Weep? Go into a tantrum yourself and recite a litany of the sacrifices you've made through the years? But these would have been predictable. Maybe what you need to do is to make sure you are calm, controlled and composed and say: "I don't believe you." This is wise and deep. Because whether he means it or not you may not be able to change his mind. What you can do is to control your responses. "You're no longer the same woman I used to know." Wow! That may pack a mean punch. But what you need to decide is, "Is this relationship big enough and important enough to fight for?" Maybe this next line would carry the weight of a potential counter punch. "I don't know how and what you feel at the moment but it will not be powerful enough to stop me from continuing to love you and support you." And then you give him space. Give him time to figure things out. There are many men out there who are having mid-life tantrums. These advices may not work all the time but you are still responsible for living your life well and doing your best to care for your family. But the one thing I know works best. Pray. Pray that God would use this opportunity to bring the two of you to a personal relationship with Christ in a more intimate way. Do not let tantrum words destroy what God has put together. Erma Bombeck says: "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."

Don't just assume your marriage will work. Work on your marriage every day. You don't just grow your business, you grow in your marriage relationship as well.

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Something to think about....


Death is something that really interests me. In the book Tuesdays with Morrie, one of Morrie's aphorisms is When you die, you live. You only appreciate life once you learn and accept your own mortality.

There is more to death than physical death. There was a point in my life that I have experienced dying - Emotional and spiritual death. I have always believed that everything that happens in life has a purpose. But what would be the point in living if there is no reason to live for.

You would come to a point in your life that you ask what if there is no such thing as purpose... how will you live your life then. Nothing to look forward to since there is nothing on the other side of the road.

Vast emptiness.. that is what I have felt before. Emptiness. Nothing, there is just nothing to look forward to. I have died during those months, emotionally. I felt no emotions, just numbness. And once you have died emotionally, you just become cold, void of emotions.

I did not actually care if I was hurting other people, 'cause I just did not feel anything. I chose not to process any emotions, I just died then. My first manager told me then that she has not seen me as cold and numb when dealing with the situation I was experiencing then. She was actually worried about me. But I just did not care anymore.

Then I asked myself would I choose to avoid getting hurt but living like a vampire, cold hearted, no emotions. Or choose to be hurt but learn and live life enjoying each kind of emotion, happiness, sadness, joy and sorrow, like Morrie has pointed out in his book.

I guess I chose to live. I spared myself living life void of emotions. Living life full of regrets. I made stupid choices but who doesn't. Life is to be lived by making decisions anyway. But you should live with those choices, right?

So for two months in UAE, I'm wondering why am I here? It has been a struggle for me. Getting really exhausted, dealing with pressure and a high maintenance colleague, having a humbling experience and other things. And this experience made me realize that I need to deal yet with certain emotions... fear and courage. Learning about these feelings a bit deeper now.

I will survive in this country, in this company like those who have struggled and conquered their fears and courageously rose from the pits of failures and disappointments.

I will survive and continue living.....

Josh/18-Mar-2010

Friday, March 12, 2010

Another Week

Another week in Abu Dhabi. Exhausting week and too much pressure. But I'd rather have so many thing to do than bore myself to death here. Few friends now but I am working on meeting new people here......
Looking forward on another week....

Monday, March 8, 2010

Just thinking....

March 08, 2010
Today I woke up and talked to myself in front of the bathroom mirror. I told myself "Today will be a great day." Indeed my morning started out very busy but I know that I am able to carry out all my to do list and accomplish all that needs to be completed.
Lunch came and I was struggling through the files on my desk. I wanted to finish all the pendings that I have and to tell all those who are belittling our efforts that yeah we are superwomen. I did not even had lunch today just to get things done as fast as I can.
Afternoon came, more to do's to be accomplished. Still a long way to go through my pending and urgent tasks.
Evening came and I am still in the office, wondering if it this is all worth it. While I was looking over the beautiful mess of papers on my desk, the picasso looking piles of files on my table, I wondered and asked myself, "Is this all worth?"
The answer NO and YES! No, because no matter how much money you earn overseas, it can never compensate for your family and your friend's love, warmth and comfort. But if you want your skills to be challenged and to know your limits, this is the place where you want to be.
Now, I just realized that this company who I am working for right now is bringing out the best in me. I might have some shortfalls and I might whine, cry and complain a bit. But one thing will be certain, I will not give up and will continue to strive until they see that I'M ALL WORTH IT!


Thursday, November 5, 2009

GOOD ENOUGH NO LONGER IS / From Francis Kong Posts

 

One day inside the HR director’s office an interview was taking place.

 

INTERVIEWER: “So why did you leave your previous job?”

 

APPLICANT: “The company relocated and they did not tell me where!!!”

 

There was a time when horror stories used to begin with: "It was a dark and stormy night..." Now it begins with your boss saying, "I never wanted you to leave but..." And so you enter the house of horrors.

 

So many people are clueless to what’s going on in the business world today. And worst, a lot more people are totally clueless to what’s going on in their work lives today.

 

Don’t let this happen to you.

 

Nobody wants average these days.

 

There was a time when plain old goods and services were enough. Only a handful of people produced them and provided them. You do not question them but you consume what they have to offer. You had very little choice,

 

Today, there is a glut of productions and services as more and more products and services are added to the market place daily.

 

Nobody wants average, everyone wants what is excellent. The word “Average” today has become a dirty word as far as business and career is concerned.

 

This is why we need to start the year…in fact we need to start each day of our lives with this mindset….Today will be better than yesterday and the world will see me as a better person in all aspects of my life. Think of this year as the year that will launch you to the next level of competence. W. Somerset Maugham says it correctly: “It's a funny thing about life; “If you refuse to accept anything but the very best, you will often get it.”

 

So here are a couple of suggestions that would help you along the way.

 

1. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.

The only certainty in this world is that the world will continue to be more uncertain. Not everything that happens is your doing. Certain situations may be caused by external factors, and are mostly beyond your control. What is in your hands is the way you will respond to the situation. Thinking that you are a victim of circumstance will not help you one bit. Be a victor and not a victim. Spend time and energy looking for solutions, not excuses.

 

2. DEAL WITH THE UNEXPECTED.

Even the Bible says: “Faith without work is dead!”

Having a positive mindset accomplishes nothing if all you do is stay there and think about. You have to make a decision to do something and you do it. Winners see themselves achieve their goals, because not only do they just sit down and make plans; but they actually go about their plans.

Do not make grand promises and deliver things half-baked. Remove the word “failure” from your vocabulary and do not be too hard on yourself. For even if you fall short; you will use these as stepping stones to make yourself a better person that makes better choices. This is why you need to make a commitment choice. You will stay the course. You will surround yourself with like-minded people who are equally passionately committed. And you will be relentless in pursuing your goals.

 

3. APPLY RIGHT VALUES IN THE WAY YOU DEAL WITH THE UNEXPECTED.

When the unexpected happens, there is a tendency to take the path of least resistance. Don’t!!! Winners do not choose expediency over that which is truthful and right.

And when you do what is truthful and right there will be resistance. Resistance from people and resistance from widely accepted systems and so in other words, you will have enemies.

Everyone has enemies. And the more successful a person becomes, the more enemies he or she will have. The most logical and productive thing to do is to welcome them, because they are actually offshoots of success.

To be effective, surround yourself with people of similar values. You do not have to please people all the time but you do have to stick to doing right all the time.

In doing so, you will begin to earn people’s trust and respect. And pretty soon you will have the support base you need in order to get the job done.

 

4. DON’T JUST STAND THERE AND DO SOMETHING, STAND FOR SOMETHING.

Every single business decision we make defines what we are made of. The thoughts we think, the words we say and the actions we take are either building us to become better people or they are breaking us and making us less of a person that we are meant to be.

People of integrity gain people's trust.

Choosing to be a person of integrity has got to be one of the most difficult choices a person will ever have to make. More than just doing the right thing, doing the right thing when no one else is watching is much more challenging.

There is no such thing as practicing integrity moderately. And neither is there such a thing as practicing integrity only with a select group of people. You either have it or you don’t.

The integrity choice is one of the most important choices you will ever have to make in your lifetime, as this will determine each and every action, including the roads to your long-term successes.

 

There is no “time outs” as far as integrity is concerned. Guard your integrity as though it is the most important possession you have. In fact I sincerely believe it is. As long as you stand for what is right and what is true, you’ll never lose that which you have gained – the right to be the kind of person God wants you to be.